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16 April 2011 @ 06:22 pm
I don't know how to fix it though. I want to find someone to be with, someone to talk to and listen to. I don't know how to find someone though. I don't want to be one of those people who goes with whoever happens to be around. I want something meaningful... I'm just... not very good at this sort of thing? I don't think of people romantically unless I'm put into that situation. I don't think of people liking me (romantically) either so I'm sure I've missed out on a few things because of my own ignorance alone. 

In short, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to find someone or seek someone out. I think its harder because of certain things but... I don't know... I would rather not do another long distance relationship either seeing as how that last one worked... 

I need a love teacher or something.. ;;  I need help. 
I feel like I have no one I can rely on anymore. I guess I got spoiled. I had someone I thought I could share anything with and, even though it turned out she wasn't the best person, it was a comfort to be able to share my troubles and pains without judgment. Even then I still had some people I could talk with about most things but, now that they're gone too, I have no one. Even the friends I've finally made now, I can't talk to them. I share things with them and it becomes about them or they don't care. I never knew I was such a needy person until this year. Its selfish of me, to want someone who will sit and listen to me whine. I whine far more than I should.

I just feel like I lost everything all at once and now I'm just kind of... here. Like I don't know what to do with myself or how to fully move on and pick myself up. I've tried and somehow, despite everything, I always fall back into this place. I guess in the end, I'm just some sort of big baby. I need to grow up and realize I may not ever be able to share everything with someone.

I know I'll hate myself as soon as I post this. I'm such a baby. 
13 December 2010 @ 10:22 am
I think I may try to actually start using this thing instead of leaving it here like a lifeless zombie that is only useful when I want icons and doujin.... *hugs account* I kind of want to use it as an actual journal... *gaspwtfholyshit* .... I'll try that tomorrow! XD;;;
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Ok so..... I'm just bored and stuff.... MEME AHOY!!!! >8I

The Axis

North Italy (Feliciano Vargas)

[x] You were bullied a lot in your childhood.
[x] You adore pasta, pizza, cheese, and fruit.
[x] You're very happy-go-lucky
[x] You constantly have a dozy look on your face as if you're always away with the fairies
[x] You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick up
[x] You're a good artist (decent... >3> )
[x] You can be clumsy at times
[x] You have a friend you always depend upon if you mess up something
[x] If your life was in danger, you would do the typical Italian thing and say: "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY!"
[x] You would surrender in a war situation (*hates fighting*)


Germany (Ludwig)

[ ] You're very stoic and serious
[ ] Sausages are your favourite foods.
[x] You like to walk dogs/your dog
[ ] Your boss/principal/tutor/home-room teacher is a nut-case.
[ ] You love rules and think they should always be followed to a T
[x] You think the world would be better if everyone played by the rules
[x] You work very hard
[ ] Your alone time is your 'happy time'
[x] You can appear tough but be very considerate towards people
[ ] You've had issues with money once or twice


Japan (Kiku Honda)

[ ] You're very mature
[ ] You think everything over before saying it.
[ ] You believe in ghosts but aren't phased by the experience when you see one
[ ] You isolated yourself during childhood
[ ] You became very successful in a short amount of time
[x] You are somewhat inexperienced when it comes to the outside world
[ ] You can seem cold/aloof to other people
[x] You're good at practical tasks
[x]You need time to adjust to new people (only sometimes)


The Allies

The United States of America (Alfred F. Jones)

[x] You love hamburgers
[x] You think you're awesome
[x] You love to invent things
[x] You love going to the cinema/watching films/making films
[ ] You can seem to be very brash to other people
[ ] You have a tendency to stick your nose into other peoples' business
[ ] You're terrified of ghosts
[ ] You know aliens exist
[ ] You tend to wear a bomber jacket all the time
[ ] You wear glasses


The United Kingdom of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland (Arthur Kirkland)

[x] You like tea
[ ] You were quite tough as a kid
[ ] You're very sarcastic and cynical
[ ] Your cooking is awful
[x] You love spiritual magical stuff, such as fairies, ghosts...
[ ] ...But you refuse to believe in aliens.
[ ] You have tried doing black magic before
[ ] You get drunk quite easily.
[ ] When you are drunk, you tend to be very unhappy
[ ] You're good at embroidery


France (Francis Bonnefoy)

[x] You're very affectionate ((I have to be kinda close to the person though)
[ ] You think you have a great fashion sense
[ ] You like wine
[ ] You're the master of whispering romantic things into peoples' ears
[x] You love red roses
[ ] When it comes to l'amour, you don't mind men or women
[ ] You're very proud of yourself
[x] You love culture and the arts
[ ] You're very flamboyant
[x] You say you're a gourmet


Russia (Ivan Braginski)

[ ] You had a very sad childhood.
[x] You're very tall (only in comparison to all of my friends who all happen to be shorties.... *is 5'7* )
[x] You have a tendency to switch between personalities
[ ] You wear a scarf all the time
[x] You love sunflowers
[ ] You love vodka
[x] You can seem intimidating to other people (people think I'm mad a lot when I rarely am....)
[ ] You're very strong
[ ] You have a big nose
[ ] You have a strange laugh that can scare people


China (Wang Yao)

[ ] You're very mature
[ ] You're very superstitious
[ ] You're very religious
[ ] You love pandas
[ ] You love cooking so much that you nag if food has a certain pattern of tastes
[x] You love Hello Kitty
[ ] You try to be a role-model for your brothers/sisters/whatever, but are never taken seriously.
[x] You work hard
[x] You're good at drawing (again, decent)
[xxxxxxxxxx] You like sweets (you don't even know.....)


And now for some other countries!

Austria (Roderich Edelstein)

[x] You are very well-raised
[x] You're polite
[x] You love classical music
[x] You like cake
[ ] You have a mole on your face
[x] You dedicate your time to your hobbies rather than what needs to be done right away
[ ] You are a virtuoso/play very well on at least one instrument
[ ] You've composed music before
[ ] You tend to call people 'morons'
[ ] You wear glasses


Canada (Matthew Williams)

[x] You're often ignored by people
[ ] You look younger than you actually are
[ ] You love hockey
[x] You love polar bears
[x] You hate fighting
[x] You have one strand of curly hair, like Italy (My hair is just curly in general so... D| )
[ ] You often get mistaken for someone else
[x] You feel under-appreciated
[ ] You're bilingual
[ ] You always carry a bear with you



[ ] You smoke
[ ] You're very physically strong
[ ] You've won a lot of fist-fights
[ ] In your social circle, there are two brothers - you get along with one, but not with the other.
[x] You have very strong emotions about a variety of topics
[ ] You like hot weather
[x] You can be very friendly from time to time
[ ] You look very tough on the outside
[ ] You make a very nice role-model
[ ] You don't let people get a word in edgeways


Hungary (Elizaveta Hédeváry)

[ ] You have a potty-mouth
[x] You like to wear flowers in your hair
[ ] You used to be a very tough kid
[x] You're very reliable
[x] It's better to have you as a friend rather than an enemy
[x] You're very faithful
[ ] Your speech and mannerisms can be considered very unladylike
[ ] You and your best friend go together like chalk and cheese.
[x] You are graceful one moment and grinning like a maniac the next
[x] If someone yells that yaoi is going on somewhere, you will drop everything to run off to go and see it.


Lithuania (Toris Lorinaitis)

[x] You're very loyal
[ ] You feel like your best friend drags you around a lot, but you both have a great time together
[ ] You're very serious
[x] You have a lot of patience
[ ] You think too much about philosophical stuff
[ ] You get depressed when questioning the point of existing/the universe, etc..
[x] You're not very confident
[ ] You were quite rebellious as a child
[x] People tend to walk all over you
[ ] You're a born worrier


Poland (Feliks Lucasiewocz)

[ ] You're very flamboyant
[x] You're quite hyperactive
[x] You can be quite goofy
[x] When you're depressed, you tend to rise out of it like a phoenix
[x] You're very wary of strangers
[ ] It takes you ages to come out of your shell
[x] However, when you're used to someone, you're very chatty
[ ] You're very forceful and stand at one end of the argument when it comes to your opinions
[ ] You love pansies and corn-poppies
[x] You get up to lots of crazy antics


Prussia (Gilbert Weillschmidt)

[ ] You're quite mean-spirited
[ ] You're a bit of a hooligan
[x] You're very loyal
[x] You're very good at tactics
[ ] You hate Russia
[ ] You love to fight people
[ ] You can avoid marriages quite well (what?)
[x] You're not always taken seriously
[ ] You like drinking
[x] You want to become stronger


So apparently, I'm full blown Italy.... I'm not surprised... I am pretty retarded... XD

Current Mood: depresseddepressed
I basically just made this so I could be a huge nerd, read fanfics, and see those darned Hetalia pages that where only visible to people on Livejournal.... D|

Who knows, I may actually use this for something eventually... >3>"
Current Mood: anxiousanxious